Daily Jokes And Other Fun Stuff

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

All the toilet seats mysteriously disappeared from the Police station last night.
The Police have nothing to go on!

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?"
Shouting back, the woman replies, "For crying out loud, I've been telling you for the last half hour that I'll be ready in a minute!

Monday, June 10, 2002

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville
wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service
starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives,
their families, etc.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming
and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their
determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.

Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who
sits calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's
ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.

Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"

The man says, "Yep, I sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"

The man says, "Nope, I sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, asks, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"

"Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."

Wednesday, May 29, 2002

Wednesday, May 22, 2002

At the 1997 World Women's Conference the first speaker from
England stood up: "At last years' conference we spoke about
being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference
I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for
him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day
I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the
third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker from America stood up: "After last years'
conference I went home and told my husband that I would no
longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself.
After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw
nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only
his own washing but my washing as well."

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Australia stood up: "After last years'
conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer
do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After
the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing.
But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

Sunday, May 19, 2002

How do blind people know when they're done wiping?